Well, if you must know, it was my turn/Shana's turn to cook tonight. We always do Mondays and Thursdays every week.. dinner, that is. With both parents busy with work etc and us, supposedly being all grown up and independent now..

ANYWAY, the recipe tonight was Potato Jackets.

It was my third attempt at cooking. Well, I don't do much of the work, obviously. I have lots of assistance from my multi-talented sister! :D

She chose the recipe this time. So I had to do the grocery shopping. I always do, anyway.

I went to the supermarket after class today, with Jason, of course.. to source out the different ingredients on my shopping list.

One of which was chicken breast meat. I'm not a very experienced supermarket shopper so I'm basically clueless and pretty much hopeless when it comes to choosing good cuts of meat or anything associated with meat, really. Thank God, Jason was there to help me yet again.

So I finally chose to buy a decent size chicken breast meat thingie from the butchery section. While waiting for the guy to get the meat out for weighing purposes.. I asked Jason the stupidest thing anyone could ever ask.

Me: Does chicken breast have bones in it?
Jason: Do your breasts have bones in them?
Me: Uh, no.
Jason: Exactly. So why should a chicken be any different?

I burst out laughing. HAHA!

I think it's hilarious how I can be so dumb at times.

Labels: boyfriend, humour

A text I received today, sometime in the afternoon:

Ok me and you.
Through and through.
Just us two.
Joanna smells like poo.
Like a monkey at the zoo.

So! This is what Jason does when he is bored at work!
He writes silly meaningless poetry about the girlfriend?

Boo hoo!

















Image: Me

Labels: boyfriend, humour, random

Audrey: '日' 字加一划,测你性格.

Jo: 白? Is it 白?

Audrey: 白：最想make love的人.

Jo: WHAT?

Audrey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jo: That's hilarious!

Audrey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Labels: humour

So we're going through change.
Here are three lessons from large corporations to help you survive change..

Corportate Lesson #1

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Could I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered, "Sure, why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared.. jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is.. to be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lession #2

A turkey was chatting to a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally, after a fortnight, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story is.. bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Corporate Lesson #3

A bird was flying south during the winter. But it was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are..
Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

Labels: humour

Click the image below to enlarge and zoom in.
No, I'm not talking abt the dance. I'm talking about the comic strip. I've been reading quite a bit of foxtrot lately. It's so funny, in my opinion. But of course, hardly anyone I know shares my sense of humour! ):

Images: Foxtrot

Labels: comics, humour, personal

I received this damn funny email from my Mom about some event that took place in the old parliament house in Singapore. It's a short video by talkingcock.com with Hossan Leong singing about Singapore. The jokes may seem a bit crude and politicially incorrect but they're so blatantly honest, you can't help but laugh along.
I think it's good that despite the fact that Singapore's faced some pretty harsh criticisms from people all over the world, yet Singaporeans are still able to laugh at themselves for some of the crazy stuff that has happened in the past.

Well, we all need a little humour in life.

Labels: culture, humour, Singapore

Adapted from HSL.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other, then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block
the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you
have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy….

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder.
He sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk back to the listed company, and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Labels: economics, humour