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What is your dead body worth?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007
$6150.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Mingle2 - Dating Site

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19 years & 1 day old

Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Okay, so it was my not-so-happy birthday yesterday! ):

I was actually feeling rather down and out because of my birthday. I really don't like the fact that we all have to grow old and face this whole drama of our bodies deteriorating slowly over time. It's not that I'm afraid of growing old or dying. In fact, I don't mind dying right now.. but I just don't like having to go through the process of age-ing. It just sounds like utter misery to me. Well, this is probably the one and only change that I do not welcome in my life.

I also felt rather unhappy because I suddenly realized how wrong or how right I've been about my social surroundings. People who I didn't really care about.. actually cared about me. People who I do care about.. don't actually care about me.. AND people who I thought cared about me.. don't care at all. It felt so bittersweet, this taste, stinging the back of my tongue. I know it's rather selfish of me to think about ME ME ME all the time. But like I just couldn't shake this feeling of being treated like garbage or a used piece tissue. It hurt.

There is nothing more I hate than someone who lies to me. As a matter of fact, I hate lying to people too. So I try my best to keep my lies to my minimum. I think I'm okay with white lies because they're pretty much harmless.. but when it comes to real lying.. it stabs me in the heart because suddenly, my whole outlook on you, as a person, somehow begins to disintegrate. And I feel regret. Sorry that I ever knew you. Sorry that I ever liked you. Sorry that I even considered you as a friend. I'm not like God. I don't have His forgiving nature. I don't give people second chances. Because once you tell me a real lie, I cannot walk away and forget about it.

They say that there's always a reason for lying. And you should let it go if it's a good one. But what people don't realize most of the time is that the so-called good reason is another lie in itself. It just seems plausible because this second lie is much better than the first.

I think he was trying to justify himself.
To paint himself in good light.
Maybe he didn't want me to feel hurt and sad.
But he also wanted to make himself feel better about it.
Or worse, he probably didn't even realize any of it.

You know, I may be young, but I'm not stupid enough to not be able to detect a lie.

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