JOTHESPOILTBRAT

Time to move on

2008-12-18T17:13:00.004+13:00

I'm switching to a new location.

I've decided that Wordpress beats Blogger.

x0x

My take on American politics

2008-11-05T14:27:00.002+13:00

Well, I think Obama will win this election.

And then, there will be a multitude of plans to assasinate him.

Why?

Because that's the way the world is.

Humans are evil like that.

Happy 21st Jason!

2008-10-26T16:29:00.004+13:00

Jason eating roti prata in Singapore

Believe it or not

2008-10-22T18:30:00.009+13:00

HAHAHA!

Believe it or not but I've been offerred a job with the Labour Party.

I turned it down, of course!

Of all times!

They want me to work for them up till Election Day, I think.

Or otherwise, join their community and become a member/supporter.

Unfortunately, I'm not too keen.

I do like politics and all that jazz..

But my exams are more important!

And it's my last semester!

I want to graduate okay!

Image: Gettyimages

Food marathon

2008-10-19T23:40:00.013+13:00

In celebration of my 100th blog post, both Huiling and I have decided that we will go on a crazy food marathon straight after our exams and before she goes back to Singapore for the summer!

Things I'd like to eat:
1. Salmon Sashimi
2. Takoyaki
3. Green tea ice-cream (Heard from Natalie that Mentaz is the best!)
4. Korean ramen @ Food Alley
5. Chocolate cake (the cake shop opposite IMAX on Queens St)

Okay, Huiling, it's your turn to give me your list! (:

Image: Gettyimages

Growing up is scary business!

2008-09-15T17:56:00.002+12:00

Happy birthday Shana!

2008-09-10T16:56:00.002+12:00

x0x

Birthday wishlist

2008-07-14T18:13:00.028+12:00

I know that this is super duper thick-skinned.
But just to make life easier for everyone and myself included..
I have decided to compile a list of things I'd like to have for my upcoming birthday. This is specifically for my close friends and family who are racking their brains for gift ideas.

~~1. Made in NZ pure merino wool tops from Glassons~~
2. Pink Reebok boxing gloves
~~3. Bedroom slippers~~ Thank you, Shana!
~~4. Borders pencil case (with a zip)~~ Thank you, T'so!
~~5. Pajama pants set~~ Thank you, Mumsies!
~~6. Gray flat boots~~ I got black ones for myself instead!
~~7. White ribbon shoes~~ Thank you, Audrey!

Other things that I like: plushies, printed teeshirts, old CDs and bags.

Much love and thanks!

x0x

Image: Gettyimages

Everything has changed

2008-07-09T17:10:00.004+12:00

Is it just me? Or does everyone feel the same?

The world isn't the same anymore.
Life isn't the same anymore.
And the people? What about them?

It just seems like there's hardly any good left in the this world.
Chaos and catastrophes in societies around the globe.
Natural disasters are becoming a more frequent occurrence.
Is this a sign?

People are a lot more selfish these days.
Driven by their own pursuits of happiness.
They have become irrational, obsessive and hungry for self-gratification.
Is this a sign?

And what about me?
How have I changed?

Image: Magnificent World

First result

2008-07-07T16:49:00.002+12:00

HA! I passed! HA!
I'm so happy.. even though I got a bad grade..
It doesn't matter!

YAY! I don't have to do FIN251 ever again!

Thank you, C+

Making time

2008-06-26T22:29:00.012+12:00

People often give excuses (lame excuses) for not having enough time to do this and that.

"Oh, I'm too busy."

"Oh, I've had alot on my mind lately."

"Oh, I really don't have enough time."

Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

But when it really comes to something or someone that matters, there are never any excuses - regardless of how genuninely busy they are or how trivial the matter is.

People will make time for things that actually matter to them.

And I'm definitely one of these people.

Which is super sad, I think.

Because people like myself, fail to realize that what is important to us.. may not necessarily be that important.

Which brings me to the subject of God.

Do I make enough time for God in my life?

If I have time for friends, family, boyfriend & schoolwork.. then why don't I have enough time for God?

Why am I not making time for God in my life?

Image: Gettyimages

After a long time..

2008-06-10T15:31:00.008+12:00

Things do accumulate. Lately, I've been REALLY lazy. I don't check my emails anymore. I don't bother as much with Facebook.. and well, I don't even go on MSN as much as I used to. And because of this, I've been quite oblivious to the happenings around me and the happenings of those around me.

I found 130 unread emails.. in my GMAIL account today. BLAH!
And almost 10 pages of unread uni emails from lecturers/tutors in my AU webmail account. DOUBLE BLAH!

I hate reading emails now.. especically spam stuff or stupid mass forwards.

I also found that my lovely people have been updating their blogs.. I just haven't been faithfully reading. But I read JW's today and it made me smile.. alot. I love you, JW! <3

Oh yeah, and I've been invited to Lisa's 21st, happening later this month.. on Facebook.. but obviously, I had no idea.. until I got a text today and a personal delivery of the invitation from Kimberly! I'm sorry! ):

OKAY.. SO, I've come to the conclusion that if anyone in this world needs to contact me desperately. You can always text me. I'm only efficient and contactable like that.

Period.

Image: Me

I think

2008-04-23T19:46:00.002+12:00

I am officially depressed again.

Image: Carola

Mud Cake

2008-04-18T19:49:00.003+12:00

Okay, so since Pam's 21st, I've been craving chocolate mud cake for a week! It's so yum. So rich. So yum. So satisfying. And yes, so yum! (:

I'm not actually a big fan of desserts. And neither do I have a sweet tooth or anything of that sort. But if I do come across something sweet that is extremely yummy, I will want it and I will eat lots of it.

Anyway, I found out where she bought her cake from - Michel's Patisserie!

SO! Today, Jason took me to one of their branches in search of this special cake.. I found it, of course. The guy there even gave me free slice to sample! YAY! Free cake! (:

I bought the chocolate mud log cake in the end. It's about $19.90! Quite an expensive sort of craving but hey, this is a random, ad hoc splurge on dessert so I guess that makes it okay.

I think I must have looked super looney too, starring at the cakes and hovering about, wondering what to buy.

Girl: So what's the special occasion?
Me: Uh, nothing. I just want to buy a cake.
Girl: Oh, so it's just like for someone?
Me: Uh, no. I just want a cake to eat, that's all.
Girl: Oh, so you just feel like cake?
Me: Uh, yes, something like that.
Girl: Oh, I see. So who's going to eat the cake?
Me: Uh, me & my family, I guess?
Girl: Oh, okay.

--- after 10minutes of hovering about ---

Girl: So, have you decided what you want?
Me: Yes, can I have the chocolate log mud cake?
Girl: Yes, sure! So when would you like it?
Me: Uh, what do you mean?
Girl: Uh, like when you would like to order the cake?
Me: OH! I just want a cake now. Can't I just buy it off the shelf?
Girl: OH! Is that what you meant? Yes, sure! Of course! I just thought you wanted to order something.
Me: Oh no no no. I just want to buy a cake now. That's all.

Okay, so the convo didn't exactly go like that.. just something along those lines from what I can remember.. BUT!!!

HONESTLY! Was it that hard to understand? I mean, is it wrong to buy a cake for no reason at all? No birthdays. No celebrations. Nothing! Just buying a cake to eat and be happy about. HAHA! The girl at the counter was actually really sweet and friendly although I think she didn't quite understand why I really wanted a cake.

According to Jason, as I later found out, it actually isn't part of kiwi culture to buy a cake for no particular reason at all. Cake is usually associated with a celebration of some sort of event or whatever.

I mean I've lived here in this country for about 6 years now.. so it's kinda shocking that I didn't know this.

Ah well, I guess it must be the "singaporean" in me that made me do what I did today! (:

Oh, I love this cake!

Image: Michel's Patisserie

Golf

2008-03-25T17:11:00.007+13:00

My new hobby.

It's purple and crazy expensive.

It's pink and a gift from Jason.

Unbelievable, isn't it? (:

Anyway, golf is fun.

Too bad it burns a huge hole in your pocket.

Images: Me

Jiewei

2008-03-05T18:27:00.005+13:00

I miss JW! ): And all the shopping sprees we've done together. Well, okay la, most of the time, I'm the one that actually buys stuff. JW has more self-control than I do. That's why she's a good influence on me. HA HA. Just jokes.

When I think about Far East Plaza or the Bugis Marketplace, I think of her too. Like I did today. Because they're my fav shopping havens and JW is always with me when I shop in those places. (Most of my barang barang are from those places anyway!) Thank you JW, for shopping with me during my last week in Singapore. It was uber fun. We should do it again sometime. And yes, please come visit me in Auckland.

All the best for your prelims! (:

Much love! x0x

Oh, and by the way, I still regret not buying all 8 different coloured pairs of shoes from that Bugis place! ):

Image: Jiewei (courtesy of her Samsung U700)

A pointless conversation

2008-03-03T20:58:00.003+13:00

Well, if you must know, it was my turn/Shana's turn to cook tonight. We always do Mondays and Thursdays every week.. dinner, that is. With both parents busy with work etc and us, supposedly being all grown up and independent now..

ANYWAY, the recipe tonight was Potato Jackets.

It was my third attempt at cooking. Well, I don't do much of the work, obviously. I have lots of assistance from my multi-talented sister! :D

She chose the recipe this time. So I had to do the grocery shopping. I always do, anyway.

I went to the supermarket after class today, with Jason, of course.. to source out the different ingredients on my shopping list.

One of which was chicken breast meat. I'm not a very experienced supermarket shopper so I'm basically clueless and pretty much hopeless when it comes to choosing good cuts of meat or anything associated with meat, really. Thank God, Jason was there to help me yet again.

So I finally chose to buy a decent size chicken breast meat thingie from the butchery section. While waiting for the guy to get the meat out for weighing purposes.. I asked Jason the stupidest thing anyone could ever ask.

Me: Does chicken breast have bones in it?
Jason: Do your breasts have bones in them?
Me: Uh, no.
Jason: Exactly. So why should a chicken be any different?

I burst out laughing. HAHA!

I think it's hilarious how I can be so dumb at times.

Jason's poetry

2008-02-26T16:07:00.007+13:00

A text I received today, sometime in the afternoon:

Ok me and you.
Through and through.
Just us two.
Joanna smells like poo.
Like a monkey at the zoo.

So! This is what Jason does when he is bored at work!
He writes silly meaningless poetry about the girlfriend?

Boo hoo!

Image: Me

The nicer things in life

2008-02-24T20:53:00.011+13:00

I got a new laptop.. AGAIN! :D

Away with my old blue Toshiba satellite that has served me well for the last 2 years of my student life.

In with my new uber cute Asus Eee PC. I love it to bits. It's so small and adorable.. weighing less than 1kg. It has everything I've ever needed in a laptop. And now, I can finally carry it to and back from uni without having to lug a huge weight in my bag. HURRAY for small things.

Good things do come in small packages.

The only very bad thing about this laptop is that it has literally no hard disk, which means that I have to store all my stuff in usb flash sticks/memory cards. And, I'm not sure how compatible it is with printers since it's on a Linux OS.

Anyway, all that matters is that I'm happy!

On another happier note, I did some rock painting with Amanda today. It was tres bien fun and we had a lot of silly ideas about random things.

I painted a hokey pokey ice-cream for Jason because he's kiwi; a Nemo for myself; and last but not least.. a cute little ladybug because I ran out of ideas about what else to paint. HA!

Images: Jason's hands, Me (courtesy of my Samsung U600)

Poor Me!

2008-02-21T20:16:00.004+13:00

For the last 3 days, I've been the ultimate recluse. I locked myself up at home and did major reconstructions in the bedroom. I cleaned and tidied and cleaned and tidied..

I threw out sooooo much junk. I sorted out my rubbish into recycling and non-recycling categories. I donated a whole bag of clothes to the cancer society.. I filled two bags and one box up with clothes which I think I may need in the near future.. but who knows eh?

My room looks absolutely perfect now. No dust, no rubbish, no more headaches! YAY!

And to think that I even had time to vacuum the whole house and cook lasagna this evening! I'm most definitely turning into super housewife material. Am kind of proud of myself actually.

We killed 2 roaches today too! EW! One was murdered by Jason while the other was chased around the toilet till it went crazy and committed suicide in the toilet bowl. HA HA! Serve them right! I bet they've been party animals for the last 3 months without me in the house.

Anyway, the most ridiculous thing about today is that.. when I finally got myself out of the house.. I actually ended up spending about $90 in like 2 hours or something?!?!?! What the hell did I buy? It's not like I even went on one of my girly shopping expeditions. Everything I bought today was absolutely necessary and essential for this household.

My shopping list for today went something like this:

1. Breakfast for Jason, Shana & Jo - $19.40
2. Clothes hangers from $3 shop - $6
3.Warehouse (consisting of school socks for Shana, clothes hangers, photo frames for my sg pictures, random cheap chocolate eggs) - $18.89
4. Woolworths (bread + some womanly stuff) - $19.57
5. New World (ingredients for dinner) - $26.25

Total = $90.11

Manisha was right. The little things do add up.

Boo hoo hoo! ):

Images: Me

My big break

2008-02-19T22:29:00.009+13:00

Oh boo! I'm back. Back from my three month holiday in Asia. I've visited many places and met many people. Malaysia was alright. But Singapore was super. I'm so glad that I went.. and so glad that I dragged Jason along with me. Well, no, that's not true actually. He wanted to come. I merely invited him along! (:

I don't really remember what I did in the last three months of my life.. not in full detail, anyway. But I do recall bits and pieces, vague memories of special events.. how I felt, what I thought, saw, said, heard.. things like that, you know?

I'm in love with Singapore, I think. And I don't know why either. I love it more than any other place in the world. It's comfortable in its own quirky way. It's not the best place but it's most definitely my place. It's not that I feel a strong bond with that place or that it gives me a huge sense of belonging.. in fact, it's neither. It's more than that.. I feel more at ease navigating the streets over there, I feel peace amidst the bustling crowds and I'm just simply comfortable standing there, watching the world go by in a mad rush.

Indeed, it's been a long time.
Although right now, it doesn't feel that way at all!

I'm just thankful that it happened, that's all.

Images: Zeeyee

November Rain

2007-11-29T22:30:00.000+13:00

I love the rain in Singapore.

2 Year Anniversary

2007-10-06T23:54:00.001+13:00

Jason organized pretty much everything this year.. in celebration of YET another year that we've been.. uh.. Mr boyfriend-Ms girlfriend type thing. And yes, it's our 2nd year.. at the rate we're going, I think alot people are expecting us to get married. HAHA! Okay, that was lame.

We went to One Red Dog in Takapuna for dinner. The bill came up to a somewhat shocking $73. I say shocking because I don't eat much, whereas Mr boyfriend eats heaps.. but still, how can a normal human being eat $73 worth of food? HMM?

Appetizers

Garlic bread $7

The garlic bread is super yummy! It's freshly baked, super soft, with heaps of butter and bits of garlic spread generously all over the bread. I think this is one of the best garlic breads I've ever tasted in my entire life. But I sort of wish that they gave me more cheese on the top! It was such a miserable amount of mozzarella grated cheese! ):

Mains

T-bone Steak Meal $30

Jason says it's yummy so you can take his word for it. I'm not a big fan of beef, especially half cooked beef, so I didn't try any of the steak. However, the chips were good, and the salad was good and the mushrooms in the sauce were absolutely delicious.

Pizza(s)

Half-and-half pizza $36
(smoked salmon/seafood prawns)

Okay, you probably can't see it too well, but this is actually a half-and-half pizza. It's half smoked salmon and half prawn seafood thingie. It's filled with so many freaking ingredients that I can't be bothered to list them down. I ate 2 slices my half of the pizza - the smoked salmon bit - and couldn't go on anymore. It's not funny okay!? Because this pizza is massive and one slice is like bigger than the palm of my hand. I don't know what Jason thought of the prawns.. so I can't say if that was yummy or not.. but I know that we were definitely a bit too ambitious to order such a huge pizza. Well, thankfully, we've learnt our lesson! :D

Mr Boyfriend eating steak

I left the restaurant feeling like a pregnant woman about to burst her water bag. Not that I know how it really feels but I'm just speaking metaphorically. We went to watch a movie afterwards - Superbad. And yes, Jason chose that movie too, of course. Only a guy would pick a movie like that, I reckon. I must admit that I wasn't too keen to watch it at first.. but I quickly changed my mind 2minutes into the movie. It's freaking hilarious, witty and has a super smart script. I'll give it a 7.5/10! :D

So all in all, Mr Boyfriend spent about $100 on a simple date. And he didn't even bat an eyelash. He is so rich and I am so poor. Oh, this world is so unfair. I'm jealous! ):

BUT THANK YOU JASON FOR EVERYTHING! (:
I HAD A LOT OF FUN! (:
THANK YOU ALSO, FOR WASTING ALL YOUR $$ ON ME, EVEN THOUGH I'M SO UNDESERVING! (:

P.S. I was just looking back into my past blog history and discovered that I never wrote an entry in memory of celebrating my 1st anniversary of being Ms girlfriend. Goodness me, I wonder what we did last year.. If anyone knows or remembers me telling you what we did, please let me know asap, thanks!

Images: Me (courtesy of my Nokia 6288)

The cruelest lies are often told in silence

2007-09-07T18:29:00.001+12:00

Image: Unknown

What is your dead body worth?

2007-08-21T01:29:00.001+12:00

$6150.00

Mingle² - Dating Site

19 years & 1 day old

2007-08-07T20:26:00.000+12:00

Okay, so it was my not-so-happy birthday yesterday! ):

I was actually feeling rather down and out because of my birthday. I really don't like the fact that we all have to grow old and face this whole drama of our bodies deteriorating slowly over time. It's not that I'm afraid of growing old or dying. In fact, I don't mind dying right now.. but I just don't like having to go through the process of age-ing. It just sounds like utter misery to me. Well, this is probably the one and only change that I do not welcome in my life.

I also felt rather unhappy because I suddenly realized how wrong or how right I've been about my social surroundings. People who I didn't really care about.. actually cared about me. People who I do care about.. don't actually care about me.. AND people who I thought cared about me.. don't care at all. It felt so bittersweet, this taste, stinging the back of my tongue. I know it's rather selfish of me to think about ME ME ME all the time. But like I just couldn't shake this feeling of being treated like garbage or a used piece tissue. It hurt.

There is nothing more I hate than someone who lies to me. As a matter of fact, I hate lying to people too. So I try my best to keep my lies to my minimum. I think I'm okay with white lies because they're pretty much harmless.. but when it comes to real lying.. it stabs me in the heart because suddenly, my whole outlook on you, as a person, somehow begins to disintegrate. And I feel regret. Sorry that I ever knew you. Sorry that I ever liked you. Sorry that I even considered you as a friend. I'm not like God. I don't have His forgiving nature. I don't give people second chances. Because once you tell me a real lie, I cannot walk away and forget about it.

They say that there's always a reason for lying. And you should let it go if it's a good one. But what people don't realize most of the time is that the so-called good reason is another lie in itself. It just seems plausible because this second lie is much better than the first.

I think he was trying to justify himself.
To paint himself in good light.
Maybe he didn't want me to feel hurt and sad.
But he also wanted to make himself feel better about it.
Or worse, he probably didn't even realize any of it.

You know, I may be young, but I'm not stupid enough to not be able to detect a lie.

Singapore List

2007-06-26T23:45:00.000+12:00

~~1. Japanese style lunch box~~
~~2. Nokia 6288 (white)~~
3. lecture pads (5 per stack)
4. pens/highlighters (lots and lots of it)
5. hairbrush (pink and round)
~~6. spiral springy hair clips: preferbly in pink, purple, blue.~~
~~7. Nintendo DS Lite (pink)~~
8. jeans (preferbly black and washed-out)
~~9. Precious Moments small pink bible~~
~~10. tote bags/hand bags~~
~~11. shoes~~
~~12. CDs - Oasis, Gwen Stefani, Justin Timberlake~~
13. plain (Gio-like) jackets: preferbly in black, brown, grey.

Last night's yukata

2007-06-20T23:23:00.000+12:00

We had a blackout last night which set me back about an hour or so.. I was supposed to be studying for my commercial law exam.. but because there was no power in the house, I couldn't access the net and couldn't read my notes, so I lay in bed waiting patiently, with a candle next to me, and texting Audrey to complain about how boring life is without electricity. Anyway, so power eventually came back on again in an hour or so, thank God. Apparently, it was due to some transformer explosion at the nearby power station on the Northshore. In fact, I hear that the harbour bridge was affected by the power cut too!? Crazy, eh? Well, this is how inefficient the power system is in NZ.

Surprisingly, study went rather well, after that. Pam and I had a long long long MSN conference about the multi-choice questions in past year exam papers. I don't know why we're so hardout at 9pm but there we were, slogging away studiously in front of our computers, discussing and debating over the options an questions etc. Gave up at 11pm though, after attempting like 70+ MCQs and went our separate ways.

I started watching the 5th episode of this super amusing Japanese drama.. played a bit of lode runner too.. then got bored again at 12midnight.

So, what should I do with myself now?

Ah, thinking back now, I really should have just gone to bed at 12midnight, since I was going to have an exam the next day.. but NOOO.. this is what I did instead:

I tried on my sister's friend's Japanese yukata.

I know I'm absolutely crazy and totally bonkers. On a rational note, who the heck tries on a yukata at 12midnight and gets all excited about it? Well, the answer is ME. I was like webcamming with so many people in the early hours of the morning, trying to show off my pretty yukata. Friends were highly amused, of course. HAHA. I think I'm seriously delirious.

Images: Shana

Exam fever

2007-06-19T19:00:00.000+12:00

I am elated.

My exams start tomorrow and I'm actually feeling a little excited about it.

I'm fed up with being left behind in the whole exam fever scheme.

Everyone I know has pretty much either finished all their exams or is pretty much finishing all their exams.

It's sooo annoying being one of the last to take exams this semester.. especially when I'm kind of in holiday mode already.

Bugger this.

Can't wait for Saturday!

Fabbity fab fab

2007-06-04T15:16:00.000+12:00

I'm so excited!

Jason and I are going to visit Singapore this summer for 3 whole months!

15 Nov 2007 - 15 Feb 2008.

And this time, I'm going to stay for Christmas and CNY too!

Yippee!

It's been 5 years since I last did this.

Will also be dropping by HK and KL during that period.

Shopping sprees!

Woohoo!

I'm so happy! (:

Images: Google

Varsity complaints

2007-05-26T00:22:00.000+12:00

Uni essays.
Uni tests.
Uni assignments.
Uni tutorials.
Uni exams. (upcoming!)

Everything revolves around uni.

It's driving me absolutely nuts.

Massive eyebags.
Dark rings around my eyes.
Swollen + itchy eye balls.

YUCK!

I'm a total mess.

It's kinda depressing.

A piece of my childhood

2007-05-10T19:12:00.000+12:00

This was one of my favourite toys. A life-size Fisher Price kitchen set, includes microwave with ringing sound, a small fridge, a foldable counter table top, an oven, a stove with twisty knobs, taps and a removable sink.

Jason claims that I'm one of those those spoilt bratty kids with branded toys!

Oh, but I loved it so very much! (:

Images: Google

Down in the dumps

2007-05-06T23:42:00.000+12:00

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

-The Beatles

Spoilt rotten

2007-04-25T02:02:00.000+12:00

Today, I did the stupidest thing in the world! ): I dropped my Nokia 7260 while walking home in the dark along Belmont Terrace. I couldn't see what I was doing; rumaging through my bag for my keys.. I didn't realize that my phone was on the verge of falling out of the bag. AND SO.. it actually happened - fell straight onto the ground and sort of made a loud noise too. For the moment I thought my phone had smashed to pieces and was broken for sure.. but thankfully, it was still working.

UNFORTUNATELY, it's like so fugly now.. all scratched up and dented and the white casing is ruined with grey lines and dots and yuck yuck yuck.. this is making me so sad.

I'm such a bimbo.

Anyway, so I was ranting about my misfortune for the day.

---

Me: SARYEE! I'm so sad la. I accidentally dropped my phone today. And now it's all scratched up. So ugly!

Aunt: How come there's no cover to it?

Me: Because I stopped using the leather cover. It got annoying.

Me: *cries*

Me: It's all my fault!

Aunt: Buy you a new phone, okay?

Me: *cries*

Me: No la. It's okay.

Aunt: What phone would you like?

---

OMG LA. I think I'm damn spoilt or something! ):

But I am going to refuse my aunt's offer. Because, you know, I am 18. Therefore, I should learn to buy stuff with my own money and not depend on the doting adults in my life.

No wonder Jason is always tsk-ing and tut-ting me.

BLARGH!

Anyway, if you must know! I'm already eyeing the Nokia 7390. It's so pretty in pink! And not only that.. the camera is like 3MP and the specs are so awesome. I must have it.. somehow.

Only problem is the price. NZ$600. What a yucky price!

Oh boy, it sucks being poor.

My end-of-holidays List

2007-04-22T23:27:00.000+12:00

It's so sad that the two-week Easter break has finally come to an end. I love lazy days and nothing-to-do-moments. To me.. that is ultimate peace and tranquility! (:

SOME 10 WONDERFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE LAST 14 DAYS

1. Rekindled my love for music from the 60s. Such as Dionne Warwick's Walk On By!

2. Completed all set tasks for the holidays including revision, research, assignments etc.

3. Dad bought me a black-hooded paddington coat! Made in Italy; cashmere & wool. $169!

4. Watched a ton of anime. I've completed Karin & Futakoi. Still in the middle of Deathnote and Yamato though. But oh, I love Usuki Kenta!

5. Did alot of shopping in Takapuna, Dressmart, Fox Outlet Center & Sylvia Park! Made some decent purhcases too.

6. Celebrated Mom's birthday!

7. Met up with an old classmate of mine from WGC, Kellie Barley, who came to visit. Haven't seen her since I left Wellington!

8. Discovered Facebook. I blame it on Farrah Isaac!

9. Was reunited with Lode Runner; an old-school game which I used to play for hours and hours in my primary school days!

10. Made a collage full of all the sticky photos I've taken with family and friends in the last 2 years. It's so pretty and pink!

Anyway! These holidays have been anything but boring.
Can't wait for the next batch of holidays (late June to mid July) because I might be heading to Melbourne for a week or so to visit friends and do some Aussie shopping.

Am feeling so very happy with myself today.

I love my life! (:

My 2 cents worth

2007-04-21T23:33:00.000+12:00

It seems to me, that in the last decade, a series of unfortunate events have been taking place rather specifically (either) on American soil (or) something to do with America.. as in the US of A. And as the leading power and anchor country, the USA has influenced the rest of the world in many many ways. It started out with the 911; followed by the Iraq war and now, Virginia Tech.
The consequences of such catastrophes are humongous, in my opinion. And we're all very much affected by it.

Looking back now, I can't help but feel upset at the thought of how so many innocent people have lost their lives or love ones in the process. It just seems so meaningless and so stupid.

However, I reckon it's even more devastating to note the aftermath. That these terrible things are turning the whole world upside down; tearing people apart; creating more conflict than ever before.

People hate the the suicide bombers.
People hate the leaders of the war.
People hate the mass murderer.

And people transform into vendettas as a result of this, bearing this bitter grudge and because they believe that they should do something in revenge to satisfy their hearts. Hence, they decide go out and do even more damage; thinking that their actions are justified.

It's almost like a war, don't you think?

People find a way to blame someone else for that bad something that has happened in their lives..

SO..

They blame religion. The Muslims; the Jews; the Christians.

They blame race. Hence, the racial riots in Sydney, UK etc

They blame the government. Refer to the list of assassinated presidents in the USA in the past.

We sterotype and group people according to their differences and blame them; discrimminate against them; fight them.. maybe even kill them.

And it's a never-ending story!

The injustice grows.
The discrimmination becomes more apparent than ever.
And the conflict deepens between people of different races, religions and political views.

That instead of trying to get through these trials and tribulations together, helping each other out and comforting each other.. we turn against each other and hurt each other.

At the end of the way, we're really no better than those who did those terrible things to us.

Our hearts are just way too violent.

Image: Shana

Burning with shame

2007-04-17T00:31:00.000+12:00

Shana's already got her learners driver's licence.

While.. I, on the other hand, have nothing of that sort.

And to think that she's three years younger than me.

I am ashamed of myself.

iWant

2007-04-13T12:13:00.000+12:00

1. Little cute bunny rabbit

2. Pretty white pixie dress

3. Yummy deep-fried creamy Camembert cheese

Images: Xiaxue, Blackjetta, Indulgz Bistro

Friday 13

2007-04-13T00:00:00.000+12:00

Happy Birthday Mumsie!

Chinese humour

2007-04-07T15:44:00.000+12:00

Audrey: '日' 字加一划,测你性格.

Jo: 白? Is it 白?

Audrey: 白：最想make love的人.

Jo: WHAT?

Audrey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jo: That's hilarious!

Audrey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

***

For those of you who are interested, these are the other possible outcomes:

田：最好的人
目：最精明的人
由：最善的人
电：最恶的人
旧：最毒的人
甲：最狠的人
申：最狡猾的人
旦：最懒的人
白：最想make love的人
巴：最刁钻古怪、存心找碴的人

Have fun! (:

6 weird things about myself

2007-04-03T09:36:00.000+12:00

1. I make faces at myself in front of the bathroom mirror just to see what I'd look like with a distorted face.

2. I like to play with Jason's leg hair. It annoys the hell out of him.

3. If you're meeting me for the first time, it'll take me more or less 5 minutes to decide whether or not I like you.

4. I have to chew most food at least 30 times before I swallow it.

5. I can't do pull-ups at all.

6. My second toe is taller than my big toe.

***

I was tagged by Jiewei.. so now, I shall spread the love by tagging Audrey, X and Swan! (:

Height Issues

2007-03-29T20:13:00.000+12:00

Short people (like me!) have it the worst, I reckon!

Especially on days such as these - where the rain is just so heavy and the winds are just so gusty!

It's just not funny, I tell you!

1. We have short legs since we are short people. And most people with short legs are obviously bad long-distance-jumpers. You don't need an Olympics fanatic to tell you this. It's pure common sense. So, tell me.. how is a short person like me ever going to be able leap over those huge as puddles that are so strangely and strategically formed around the campus? I bet they're there just to mock me because they know I can't avoid them! HMPH!

2. Because I am short and can't leap over puddles gracefully, unlike my taller counterparts, I will obviously get my shoes soaked and my jeans wet right up to my knees.. or if it's really bad - above my knees. But tall people will only at the very most get their jeans wet right up to their knees. This is so unfair! DOUBLE HMPH!

3. Short people feel colder because we are closer to the ground and as all you scientists know, cold air sinks! So, we short people have to brave the cold and freeze our butts off! TRIPLE HMPH!

4. If you are a short person, it is very scary to walk in a big crowd of people on a rainy day. There is a super high chance that you will get poked, jabbed or even stabbed by someone's umbrella or part of their umbrella. This is because everyone is trying their best to shield themselves from the irritating raindrops, and they become so obsessed with trying to stay dry that they don't even notice YOU, the short person, who is walking behind/in front/beside them. It's very painful, okay? I was almost poked in the eyeball once! ):

5. If wind is super strong and the rain is super heavy, we, short people have a higher chance of being blown away (unless you are a short, fat person) or have water blown/splashed all over us! Especially if you happen to be standing at the crossing, waiting for the green man and a selfish car drives by and into this huge muddy puddle.. you're bound to get a free and quick (maybe even brown) shower, whether you like it or not. Too bad if you just happened to spend 3 hours on your hair that morning! ):

See? This is why I say.. short people just aren't rain-friendly people. We're made not made to withstand adverse weather such as this. We are better equipped for sunshine and nice calm weather. Plus, warm sunny days just make us happier people too. And really, what is better than a happy person?

(:

Happy birthday, T'so!

2007-03-28T22:46:00.000+12:00

Little Miss 2

2007-03-27T00:21:00.000+12:00

Remember how I wanted the Little Miss teeshirts from Junkfood? Well, the prices at Lippy were just way too much so I had to refrain from splurging NZ$60 just to buy a measly teeshirt. Anyway, yesterday, Jiewei was talking to me on MSN and she told me that they're selling Little Miss teeshirts online at SG$35 each! Woohoo! I love you, Jiewei! So now, I am an "almost" proud owner of 2 Little Miss teeshirts - Sunshine & Giggles. I'm feeling so fabbity fab fab. And infinite thanks to Jiewei for helping me to buy the teeshirts first.

I love you to the moon and back! (:

Sorry for making you temporarily $70 poorer too.

Am super impressed at the speed at which the transactions took place last night. It took less than five minutes for the order and payments to be paid, received and confirmed on the seller's blog. I don't know how they do it but Jiewei says that internet-banking in Singapore is super efficient and safe. No wonder online shopping is becoming a huge fad in those parts of the world. It's so easy and fast and reliable. Oh, this just makes me want to move out of NZ and back to Singapore just so I can go nuts with shopping online for things that are way cheaper than what you get in the local stores. Plus, the variety online is ten million times better. So why not, eh?

Images: queeensg

In a nutshell

2007-03-25T02:06:00.000+12:00

I haven't been feeling so good lately. And I reckon it's probably due to some strange sickness I've developed in the past week or so. It's not just that too - but also, it's been a rather emotionally exhausting week, I reckon. All the ups and downs. I feel like I'm being pushed to my wits end.

I sort of fell today. Literally. In the carpark. I swear I didn't see the puddle of water/oil up ahead of me so I walked right into it, slipped and fell over. It was quite funny. I actually cracked-up laughing when I found myself on the ground. I managed to break the fall though with my right knee. It hurt like hell, of course.. because of the friction. And now, I've got this massive bruise on my knee cap. It's colourful too - pink, purple and blue with dots of blood (trapped under the skin).

My knee is officially fugly.

Yuck.

This reminds me of when I was a kid.. when this guy pushed me and I fell flat on the ground. My chin hit the concrete so hard it turned red immediately. Ouch. I can still remember the stinging pain. Anyway, because of the impact of the fall, the bruise was pretty bad. It was black and huge and pretty much covered most of my under-chin area. I cried everyday when I looked at myself in the mirror because I felt so fugly. And I wanted so badly to stick a plaster on top of my huge bruise to cover it up but my Mom wouldn't let me, saying that it'll just make it more obvious to everyone at school. So I listened to her.

It took ages to heal.

And now, thinking back to what I was like really makes me laugh.

I was such a little vain pot!

Well, am still one, by the way.

It's hurts, doesn't it?

2007-03-24T01:00:00.000+12:00

You know how when someone says something so very hurtful to you.
Or when something not so pleasant happens.

You can't help but feel so much hurt inside.

It's like a pen knife has been pierced right through your heart.
And the pain is so overwhelming, it makes you cry.
You cry till your eyes go red and sore.
And your cheeks are stained and stiff.

You just want to sort of.. die, in a way.
You want your body to disintegrate with the dust in the air.
And you want your heart to break into a million pieces, so that you'll never be able to feel again.

如果我明天失踪,请你不要担心!

Pretty useless

2007-03-22T23:18:00.000+12:00

Yes, believe or not, but it was Oscar Wilde, one of the greatest play writers of all times, who actually declared that all art is useless. And I hate to admit this, much to the horror of my very many arty farty friends, but I really do agree with him.

I guess this is a huge insult to many people out there, art-lovers and art-workers and the whatevers. And I suppose too, that God Himself would be a little hurt by what I've just said. After all, He is the greatest artist of all time. The art of creation. Our world is His masterpiece.

Well, this is what I think anyway.

But tell me.. how useful can an art piece be? Sitting in a gallery for months and months. With no one coming to look at it. No one interested in buying it. What is it worth, anyway? How many artists out there actually earn a decent income from what they do? Why is it that some of these famous artists of the past have had such sad and depressing life stories? If art was of any useful-ness, then why was it all just so tragic?

To me, art has never really been practical.
And it isn't very logical either.
Sure, I find some art pieces rather intriguing.
And I have my favourites here and my preferences there.
But to be honest, I cannot see how it can ever create a catastrophe.

Art drives people crazy too, doesn't it? Audrey will probably know this too well. The hours spent slogging it out.. stirring up emotions. Yet, will it even produce the sort of results you want? As an artist, are you satisfied? And you ask yourself, at the end of the day, if it's all worth it.

But of course, you may argue against me.
Like Mom and Shana did the other day.

2 against 1.

Art is not useless. We need art. To express ourselves. Well, for some people anyway. People like you express ourselves through words. Would it then be true to say that all writings are useless? Of course not! Some people express themselves through art. In that way, how then can you possibly say that art is useless? Because it is important. Because it is wanted. Because it is loved.
Like how you love words. Like how you enjoy writing. People feel the same way about art.

The world is changing. People are getting more superficial, more impatient and well, let's face it.. there are going to be fewer readers around, compared to last century. We're a bunch of visual idiots, you see. We prefer to have our information fast. We find it more effective, more efficient and maybe even more appealing to sit down and evaluate an art piece for 5 minutes, compared to sitting down and reading a book for 5 days.

To get the message across.. clear and fast.. we need artists.

So with this in mind, could art really be the next big thing?

So is art really useless?

---

Okay.

Fine.

I lose.

I am narrow-minded and my thoughts are shallow.

But do you even get where I'm coming from?

Sure, you know, I like art. I really do. But I still don't see how it can be of any use to me. Art will always be some sort of a recreational tool to me. Like an interest. And I think it's good that it's kept that way. I just want to sit down and be able to enjoy staring at it for a while, losing myself in a spot of colour and thinking about how it really makes me feel.

That's all.

This has been a pretty useless post. And I'm not making much sense either.
Today, I'm feeling bitter towards art. Tomorrow, I may sing a different tune.
Well, who knows, eh? (:

Image: Stella Im Hultberg

The World Today

2007-03-05T00:16:00.000+13:00

Michael and I were just talking about how screwed up our world is today. He said that the reason for it was due to human nature.. and to be honest, I agree with him. I believe that we've all somehow brought it upon ourselves, whether or not we realize it. I believe that to be true.
We have movies like The Inconvenient Truth which attempt to show us how our human actions have resulted in the physical deterioration and maybe even the ultimate destruction of the world (in the future) . We also have movies like American Beauty which paint a very bleak and almost revolting portrait on human nature in modern society - how we've deteriorated as moral human beings.

So, it all just boils down to us, the human beings of this world.
We "run" and "ruin" our very own world, don't we?
Our actions have the reaped consequences we're experiencing now.
All the mayhem, all the chaos, all the suffering.
In spite of all the advanced technology and increased development around the world, are we really living in a better world?

Image: Windows XP

Bittersweet

2007-03-04T00:28:00.000+13:00

The first week of uni has come and gone.

And I'm working a full-load.

I'm somewhat happy, I think.

Because I love my choice of papers.

Because I have something to do.

Although at the same time, I feel like there's something bugging me.

Something's just not right.. somewhere.

Well, whatever it is.. it's driving me mad.

I'm-oh-so-exhausted.

Rampage

2007-02-23T16:55:00.000+13:00

I think I'm one of those people - you know, the ones that are only highly motivated or driven by extreme emotions. I cannot be inspired to write about anything without any strong feelings for what I am about to pen down.. and I cannot bring myself to do something well if I don't feel anything for it. My actions and words are very much in sync with my mood swings and how I'm feeling that very second and minute during the day.

Today, I'm just feeling so pissed off at alot of things and alot of people.. again! Just like how I was so damn annoyed yesterday, I thought I was going to cry. But you know, I'm 18 now.. I should at least learn to hold my tears back.

I'm so frustrated right now.

I just want to lock myself up somewhere and think happy thoughts or do the happy dance.

Bureaucracy really makes me mad. It's cost me so much time and so many brain cells. I've wasted so much time trying to ring this person and that person to settle whatever crappy paperwork that's left to be resolved in the respective adminstrative departments - the university itself, and the student loan providers. And the results are just disgusting. It makes me want to puke. And I always get the same answer. There's nothing they can do about it now and nothing I can do now except to sit and wait and maybe call back again next week.

BLARGH!

Image: Unknown

Summer School Results

2007-02-20T11:52:00.000+13:00

I got a B in math!

I'm so happy!

I could kiss an oak tree.

CNY Greetings

2007-02-18T15:38:00.000+13:00

恭喜发财!

Image: Shana

Blah Blah Blah

2007-02-15T17:47:00.000+13:00

Spent the afternoon trying to tidy up my room. I managed to tidy up all the wooden shelves, plastic drawers and my massive closest. The amount of crap I've accumulated over the last 4ish years is really quite shocking. You should just look at the huge rubbish bag sitting in the corner of my room right now.

Appalling.

Tomorrow, I will wake up early and sort out all my clothes and stuff. I have tons and tons of clothes and footwear. Some of which still have their labels intact. I'm serious. Not kidding at all. And I'll probably have heaps to throw out too, just so I can make space for more new clothes/shoes that I shall purchase in the near future..

Speaking of clothes and other vain things.. here is a snapshot of the latest additions to my ever-growing closet..

ESPRIT ($24.90 each)

Post Valentine's Day Post

2007-02-15T02:03:00.000+13:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL MY LOVELY FRIENDS!
MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL OF YOU!
I LOVE YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU!

***

Webcam is a bit screwed, hence the blurry picture. And yes, I know those two little lambs are very adorable and romantic. Unfortunately, they are not mine. The two little cuteseys belong to my parents. I'm so jealous la. I want cute little things like that too.

Today, I am feeling inexplicably and deliriously happy! (:
I love Jason Wong! He makes me so happy.

A long walk along Takapuna beach and also did a bit of shopping in the mall.

I got little seashell chocolates from Smith & Caughey and a new khakis cap from Esprit!
In fact, I liked the cap so much I decided to buy one for my sister too. But in a different colour, of course. There's no point having two of the exact same things living in the same house. So, anyway, that was my impromptu v-day present to Shana.

But I didn't buy Jason anything! ):
Except for ice-cream and lunch.
I feel so bad la.

Does that book from 2 weeks ago count as a super duper early v-day present? Well, I guess not, eh?
David Gemmell is Jason's favourite author.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that summer school offically ended yesterday for me?

I'm so glad that it's finally over.

2 weeks of vacation left till first semester begins.

Oh, the joys of student life! (:

Tonight

2007-02-11T01:34:00.000+13:00

I webcammed with Michael for almost 8 hours.
Rang T'so on his cellphone and chatted for 29 minutes.

Suddenly realized that I haven't been on a date with Jason for almost two months now!

And it's all because of stupid summer school.

I feel so sad now, just thinking about it..

My only means of socializing has been reduced to just MSN and cellphones.

And yes, I know I haven't blogged in a long long time..
But I have very good reasons.
So just in case you've forgotten what I look like..

Short fuse

2007-01-19T00:17:00.000+13:00

Been so bogged down with Maths lately.

Summer school is tearing me apart.

My social life has been especially affected by the crazy workload.

I've even developed quite a temper in the last few weeks.

Can't wait for all this to be over.

So want my life back.

My MSN display picture

2007-01-17T23:07:00.000+13:00

Yes, this is my current MSN display picture. It's handmade and homemade by my one and only younger sister. She's such a gifted 15 year old. And to think that she didn't even need a mouse to draw this picture on Photoshop. She used the touchpad on her almost crappy laptop. I don't think it took her long to come up with a picture like this.. which is why I seriously think her talents will go waste if she doesn't get into art school.. or even animation school in the future.. whichever floats her boat.

Image: Shana

My feelings

2007-01-13T22:48:00.000+13:00

Sometimes, you make me feel so inexplicably and deliriously happy.

But it's on only days like these..
that you make me feel so downright unhappy.

And it seems to be happening increasingly so lately.

Ah well, what can I say?

I'm faltering again..

What a relationship does to you - IMO

2007-01-06T23:38:00.000+13:00

1. You get fatter

You tend to have many meals together.
If you're not doing anything too exciting or interesting with each other, you're probably eating together.
For the guys, you get fatter because you have to finish whatever your girlfriend can't.
For girls, you get fatter just because!

2. You get poorer

Money is very important in a relationship. I'm kidding you not.
You need money. Lots of it.
To pay for bills at fancy restaurants, since you eat out more.
To pay for movie tickets, since you watch more blockbusters at peak periods.
To pay for all the many many material things that you may buy your significant other in attempt to prove your love and commitment; or just as present for that special occasion; or just to make each other smile.

3. You get boring

Dead boring. Both of you.
But despite that, you still love each other.

x0x

Image: GettyImages

Blargh.

2007-01-03T22:16:00.000+13:00

Summer school starts tomorrow! ):

Image: Gettyimages

A New Year

2007-01-01T22:18:00.000+13:00

It's strange, isn't it? Knowing that a year has gone by just like that. Knowing that now, you're right smack at the starting point of yet another year. You wonder about how time just went by like that, in a blink of an eye. And you wonder if this year will go by just as quickly as the year before. You think about how you're going to be a year older and maybe even a year wiser!

I did a bit of reflection today and some reading as well:

2 WAYS to LIVE

Happy are those who don't listen to the wicked,
who don't go where sinners go,
who don't do what evil people do.
The love the Lord's teaching,
and they think about those teachings day and night.

They are strong, like a tree planted by a river.
The tree produces fruit in season,
and its leaves don't die.
Everything they do will suceed.

But wicked people are not like that.
They are like chaff that the wind flows away.
So the wicked will not escape God's punishment.
Sinners will not worship with God's people.

This is because the Lord takes care of his people,
but the wicked will be destroyed.
- Psalms 1:1-6 (NCV)

And it just hit me that perhaps, it's really not that hard to be a happy person, is it? That I've really been looking for happiness in the wrong places. That really, all it takes is to make one choice; a lifestyle choice. There are 2 ways you can live. So what will it be?

And it also hit me that perhaps, it was probably because I tried so hard to be happy, that I ended up even more miserable than ever. Because happiness should be come naturally to a person. I have been so unhappy with so many things and with so many people. I was angry and bitter so often, always frowning and frequently crying over spilt milk.

And I wonder if I've really strayed so far to the point that it has made me into a totally different person from before. And I wonder if it's too late to turn back now and try to walk that straight path again.. and maybe even find some meaning and purpose in life again.

Because the darkness can be so scary sometimes and yet so comforting at the same time because no one will be able to see how mangled you've become.

Yet, you know that you can't live in the darkness forever.
So when the light calls out to you.. you run to it.

Anyway, I hope that this year will be a lot better than the last - a happier and healthier year, full of love and laughter! (:

My suay month

2006-12-28T15:59:00.001+13:00

I reckon December's my suay month. Audrey says I shouldn't use the word suay because it's a bit too strong! But then, I really don't know how else to describe it. It's not that I believe in luck or whatever you call those superstitious practices/beliefs.. it's just that a lot of crap always seems to happen to me right around the month of December, especially more so during the Christmas period! ):

I could make a list of all the crap that happens to me every year right around this time.. but I'm not that wu liao and I don't exactly want to re-live all those depressing moments so I'll just rant about what happened yesterday.

I woke up feeling rather crap yesterday because my right eye was so damn painful. The culprit was a little red thingie growing on the rim of my eyelid, underneath the back bit. It's small and red and swollen. And it even hurts to blink. Jason says it looks like a pimple but I don't think so. I just hope it's nothing sinister. I don't want to go blind or die yet. Please. But I don't exactly like walking around looking hideous either. So it's a lose-lose situation for me. Thus, I'm pretty depressed over it. It looks slightly better today but you can still see a tiny bump on my eyelid.

Then while I was brushing my teeth last night, to my horror, I found a tooth growing at the back on the left side of my mouth, on the gums. It's a freaking wisdom tooth! (or so I think.) I was on the verge of going ape-shit because:
(1) the tooth is growing out of alignment with the rest of my teeth
(2) i can predict that extreme pain is yet to come
(3) it's going to affect the rest of my teeth and ruin my braces-ed teeth.
This tooth is anything but wise, I tell you. It's a stupid tooth. And that goes the same for any other future 'wisdom' teeth that I may have. By the way, can anyone pretty please tell me how many teeth an adult homo sapien is supposed to have, biologically speaking? It's 32, isn't it?
16 top and 16 bottom?
Anyway, so that's the end of my little ranty.
Two horrifying incidents in less than 24 hours.
Life sucks during times such as these.

I just can't wait for the year to be over!

Images: Gettyimages

I am angry again.

2006-12-25T00:13:00.000+13:00

Honestly, people like me should remain single and isolated forever.

Because I'm so hard to please, I've made my own life a living hell.

But of course, the inner being within me will continually refuse to accept spinsterhood.

Because I hate sleeping alone in the dark.

Imperfections

2006-12-14T00:13:00.000+13:00

My thoughts are a mess at the moment:
Sometimes, I just find it so hard to cope with imperfections. I find it so hard to accept another's imperfections. I try not to bear a grudge and hold it against them. Other times, I just find it so hard to cope with my imperfections. And I really try not to rage over it.

But more often than not, I find myself in an extremely bittersweet disposition.

I don't know if it's entirely my fault. That it's because of my nature - my unforgiving and intolerant nature - that has led me to be so unhappy with so many different people at times.

When I think about how thoughtless a person is. It angers me.

When I think about how inconsiderate a person is. It enrages me.

When I think about how rude a person is. It just pisses me off.

When I think about how stupid a person is. It just makes me mad.

When I think about how a person doesn't even realize how thoughtless/inconsiderate/rude/stupid he or she has been.
It annoys me even more.

How can any one person possibly act and behave in such a foul manner and yet not even realize the consequence or effect of his/her actions on him/herself and on the others around him/her?

How can a person like that even exist?

It just never ceases to amaze me.

Pumping it

2006-12-13T01:36:00.000+13:00

I woke up at 6am today for my very first early morning gym workout. It was a rather exhausting and painful experience. Jason made me do weights and cardio with him.
I'll admit that gymming isn't really my cup of tea. It isn't particularly exciting or fun and I don't feel especially pumped up while working out. But I did feel rather refreshed and accomplished afterwards, especially after a hot shower in the locker rooms.

I'm sort of aching all over right now and some of my "muscles" are a little sore. But I'll live through it.
I wouldn't mind going back again if it means that I'll be able to level up and gain a few strength points. (:

Oh, and we finally watched Casino Royale at Skycity cinemas. It was pretty good, in my opinion. I quite enjoyed the script and plot. The acting wasn't too bad either. But I especially liked the introduction. I thought it was brilliant - the creativity and arty animation.

Overall, I'd give it a 8/10.

But I must say that I don't quite fancy the new James Bond. Nothing against Daniel Craig. He's very talented, yes. But I reckon that he just doesn't quite look the part. The whole blonde hair and blue eyes thing.. well, it doesn't quite appeal to me, sorry! ):

Image: Google

Little Miss

2006-12-05T01:18:00.000+13:00

I want the Little Miss series tee-shirts sold at Lippy.
Apparently, they're not only exclusive but really expensive too.

(NZ$59.90 per tee-shirt)

Made in the USA.

I blame it on the exchange rate.

Image: Lippy

Related post: Monday to Friday

Corporate Lessons

2006-12-03T00:21:00.000+13:00

So we're going through change.
Here are three lessons from large corporations to help you survive change..

Corportate Lesson #1

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Could I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered, "Sure, why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared.. jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is.. to be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lession #2

A turkey was chatting to a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally, after a fortnight, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story is.. bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Corporate Lesson #3

A bird was flying south during the winter. But it was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are..
Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

Just a thought

2006-11-29T00:33:00.000+13:00

Women are little girls who just want to laugh. While Men are little boys who just want a girl to like us.
Keith, the stoned nerd.

Friendships

2006-11-27T10:15:00.000+13:00

I must say that I don't think much of myself as a friend. I don't particularly come across as the best sort of person to befriend. I don't offer very much as a friend, in terms of help, support and care. But I try anyway, to be a friend, nonetheless, to anyone who may need one at any one point in their life.

I won't really say I have many friends, to be honest. I think there's a difference between knowing a lot of people and actually having a lot friends. My aunt once said to me that it is always better to have a few good friends, then to have a whole lot of friends. I know she's right.

So like I said before, I don't have many friends. But, however, I do think that I have some very good friends. I can think of about 5 right now, off the top of my head. I'm pretty selective and judgemental so I guess that's why it's so hard for me to befriend a person properly. I have my own agenda, just like everyone else. It's a very high-and-mighty sort of attitude, sort of a bit like saying, "If I like you enough, you qualify as a friend."

And I'm quite selfish too, when it comes to friends. I don't offer much but when it comes to spending time together or communicating with each other, I expect it to be just between me and that friend. I just want the whole person to myself at that moment in time. I don't do well in groups either, as you've probably noticed. I'm not much of a group person. But I really do value the time spent with any one friend at any specific occasion.

Anyway, in the last week or so, I've sort of broken out of my comfort zone, in terms of forging (new) friendships. Like I told Jason last night, I've made a brand new set of friends as of this week. It's a big deal to me because it's never happened this quickly before.

Firstly, because it's a group of people.
Secondly, because they're different from the usual people that I'm used to.
Thirdly, because I met them at church.
It's funny because I've never really wanted to be part of a group anymore. Well, ever since I left SMSS, anyway. I did try again at WGC but I gave up soon after. I guess I'd just had enough of 'hanging out' in a group. I don't think it's silly or stupid. I just thought it was tiresome. But this new group of people I've found are actually quite good together. And they're different because you just know that they are genuine. They stay together through fun times and serious moments. They're not perfect, of course. None of us are. But I find that when I'm with them, I don't find myself doing my usual sieving or judging or analysis. Because all I've done in the past is sieve my way through the many crowds of people I meet and judge and analyse each of them before coming to a conclusion - do I want to be friends with so-and-so?

And I suppose it's partly because they're christian, which is why everything is pretty much positive. And I really like that - optimism in life. I've never been active in the christian church community and I don't think it's very important that I get active either. It's not a priority in my life. But I do know that befriending a couple of christians will definitely be good for me. Besides, it wouldn't hurt me. Like I told Elliot on the way home last Friday when he asked me what I thought of the group, "I've never really been part of a youth group before. So I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say. But I don't mind it at all. I quite like it actually."

In the past, I've never really thought much of church people. Why should I? They're just people, like everyone else. And I've had some pretty bad experiences with church people too, which somewhat put me off the whole idea of 'getting involved with various church activities'. But it's time for me to stop judging and stop acting like a snob. After all, I'm not that perfect either and I'm rather ashamed as well to note that I've been a pretty bad walking-representation of the faith itself.

Anyway, we went out to yumchar as a group last Friday.
And this week, Thursday evening, we're going to have a steamboat and Korean hotplate bqq dinner at Nancy's house.

Sounds fun, I guess.

Images: Gettyimages, unknown

The Confession Box

2006-11-26T20:27:00.000+13:00

It's tough being christian.

I think I've slipped away quite a lot in the last 18 years of my life. I've drifted away, then come back on track again, then run away, and run back again.

It's been one vicious cycle.

I don't think there's any good reason for my slipping away. Because the truth is that I've been completely self-absorbed and self-orientated. I'm not going to defend myself and say that everything I've done is right and that I feel no guilt nor regret because that would be utterly untrue. I've done plenty wrong and will continue to make many mistakes.

It's not a sin to love youself, I guess.
However, I do think it's a sin to believe that the world revolves around you.

I've been extremely selfish and I've done numerous things purely for the benefit of myself and at the expense of others.

I've said alot of things that have hurt people too, things which were totally uncalled for and things which were nothing but pure lies.

I've also done things which are just plain wrong.

I've had debates and arguments about what is right and what is wrong. My idea of right/wrong is relative to what I believe in, or believe to be right/wrong, and how they measure up against my values. It's all been so very wharped because I've been so very wharped.

But that's all going to change, I hope.

I reckon I've sort of dug a hole for myself and brought all this misery upon myself because of my lack of knowledge and my lack of willingness to open up and receive.

I don't like being depressed and confused and I don't like crying myself to sleep all the time.

So this last week, I decided to stop putting things on hold.. to stop talking (something which I'm so good at doing) and start acting (something which I've failed to do so again and again).

ANYWAY, this time, I'm for real, eh?

No more sitting on the fence.
No more "Hey, I'm trying really hard. Give me another chance."
Because it's pathetic.

All I've been doing is walking around with this nice 'christian' label plastered all over me. But the reality is that I'm far from what I profess to be.

So I want to change.

Even if it means that I'm going to have to make some very difficult and painful choices.

Would you rather have nothing and feel peace within or have everything and feel unhappy?

I'd rather give up everything here and now.
I'd rather lose it all, to be honest.

And for once, I'm dead serious.

Images: Gettyimages

My boyfriend & RuneScape

2006-11-21T23:27:00.000+13:00

Yesterday, Jason came over and we finished off the last of our Ranma dvds.
When he stepped into the room, he found me playing RuneScape on my laptop! (:

Jason: "WTF? Since when did you play RuneScape?"

Me: "Since today."

Jason: "Geek!"

Me: -_-"

***

Today, he was over again, playing RuneScape with me.

Jason: I can tell you really like this game.

Me: How?

Jason: Your eyes are really big.

Me: o_o"

***

Just a while ago, he got on MSN..

Jason: Playing RuneScape?

Me: Yep. And I've got heaps of stuff. Tell me if you want any of them. I've finished 4 quests so far.

Jason: WTF? Have you been playing all day?

Me: Yep.

Jason: What a geek! My gf is a geek! Nerdy geek!

Me: Is it so wrong to be a geek?

Jason: No, I just like calling you that.

Me: -_-"

The Boyfriend List

2006-11-19T23:02:00.000+13:00

Like every woman, I have wants and I have needs. And like every human, I look for these wants and needs in fellow humans, especially men, but more specificially - one man.

I WANT THIS BOYFRIEND:
1. Older than me. I don't like younger guys. Their immaturity pisses me off.
2. Must be on standby to open any glass jars, tin cans and air-tight juice bottles all the time.
3. Taller than me. DUH? I'm already as short as hell.
4. Big eyes. Just for the hell of it. Since I like them.
5. Fit and healthy with great stamina. I want high energy levels.
6. Sensible shopping partner who will stop me from purchasing silly things.
7. Ability to cook because I can't.
8. Intellectual. Because I get bored real fast.
9. Smart with money. Because I'm not.
10. Must have fairly good sense of direction - just because I do.
11. Drive a car. Because I don't.
12. Please be a reader. Nothing pisses me off more than a person who is stupid and doesn't read anything. Oh, please, grow up!
13. Tech-savvy. Otherwise, you're uncool.
14. Anime otaku. Otherwise, you're even more uncool.
15. Clean in many different aspects. I hate facial hair.
16. Even-tempered and easygoing. Just because I'm not.
17. Good travel buddie.
18. Please love food because I don't.
19. Don't ever stop me from going to church.
20. Tolerant of all my whiny speeches, bitchy PMS tantrums and silly-billy act-cute-ness annoying moments.
21. Trustworthy, polite, respectful, considerate, supportive, honest and committed. (Try saying that all in one breath!)

Okay, that's all I can come up with for the moment.
I'm sure I'm missing something though.

ANYWAY.

If you know anyone like that, please email me.
If you are like that, also, please email me.

And I shall bags you forever! (:

---

mMm.. I wonder what Audrey's list is like.

The Departed

2006-11-19T00:47:00.000+13:00

The face that was webcamming with me for 7 hours last Friday is in today's Dominion Post.

Funny stuff.

And yes, everyone should go watch The Departed. If you haven't already, that is. I saw it yesterday too and it was awesome! (:

Flawless plot.
Great action.
Lots of blood.
Talented cast.

I liked the suspense and the drama alot.

Overall, I must say that it was a very enjoyable film.

Matt Damon is so hot.

Image: Wellington's Dominion Post

Happy Birthday Audrey!

2006-11-17T23:59:00.000+13:00

If only we could be 18 forever.

Confined freedom

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000+13:00

Audrey and I were feeling rather depressed today. Neither of us drive so obviously, we couldn't really go anywhere. And to make matters worse, public transport in Auckland sucks so we had no choice but to use our good legs and walk to the nearest mall. Honestly, it's so pathetic, okay? We live in confined freedom, partly by choice, and partly by circumstances. So both of us went to Milford Mall and walked around twice before we left for home. We were barely there for even a hour. I wanted a second opinion on a pair of shoes. Negative. I wanted to sign up for a new plan for my cellphone. But the guy said I needed two forms of ID, which I did not have and still don't. Then I dropped in at the flower shop to say hi to the boss. After which, both of us were thirsty so we got smoothies at the little store. Left the mall and walked all the way home in the freaking hot sun.

I'm such a sad tart. It's the holidays and I haven't had the chance to sleep in at all these days. I go to bed late and wake up early.

Brown's Bay has the yummiest ice-cream ever. I haven't had such yummy ice-cream in a long long long time. I loveee it.

OMG. I am a boring individual who's feeling so freaking bored right now. There is nothing to do at all. This is going to be the most excruciating summer ever, since I'm not even leaving the city at all. I'll be stuck in here for 2 whole months. Triple Ugh.

I demand a luxurious holiday in another urban city!

I love watercolour paintings.

I don't even have inspiration to blog about intellectual bullshit.

Yes, it's really that bad.

I am the #1 complaint queen in this entire universe.

Image: Blackjettas

Disgustingly Cute!

2006-11-15T17:38:00.000+13:00

This little cutie belongs to him and it's so adorable, don't you think? Why can't I have it too? ):

Images: Edison Chen

Shopping with Mr Z

2006-11-14T18:14:00.000+13:00

I had to wake up at 9am this morning because Mr Z wanted to have a McDonald's breakfast. The weather's awesome today - hot and sunny - so I decided to wear a tee-shirt and a denim miniskirt. I had a bacon and egg bagel with white tea and a hash brown. He had a hunger buster with hot chocolate and extra hash browns.

Then, we were off to Dressmart.

By the way, it was Mr Z's idea to go down to Dressmart today. I think he wanted to shop and I think he wanted me to shop with him. He just went down on Sunday, so it must have been quite enjoyable for him to want to go back again within three days.

I've only been to Dressmart once and that was about 2 years ago, so I quite looking forward to this trip, since I was expecting great bargains and new shops (as Mr Z described to me and yes, he was right).

It's not a big space and the clothes are the norm but the prices are fabbity fab fab. I got some pretty decent bargains today. One of which I'm very very very proud of - a black purse from Just Jeans, with a sale price of about $5 (the original price was $15, or something like that, I think). I've had my eye on it for ages! But I've been putting off the purchase because I just knew the price will go down.. someday. And besides, I wasn't that desperate to have it. I didn't need it since I already have that GUESS wallet David bought me for my birthday this year. I just wanted it. And so.. it was mine! (:

We bought clothes too, of course. Mr Z got me two new tops. He also bought some new track pants and a top for himself.

I know I have plenty of clothes but being the greedy person I am, I always seem to want more and more and more. I think I might have to try and sell some of my other clothes, since I don't wear them anymore. Some of them are brand new too, with their price tags and labels still in tack. Yes, I know it's shocking.

I got some random stuff too - a couple of pink Nike wristbands, and a cute mug for Mr Z.
Don't ask me what the wristbands are for. It's a secret. And no, they're not for myself.. duh?

Well, it's been one extremely satisfying day.

Thank you, Jason.

x0x

Life down under

2006-11-13T01:09:00.000+13:00

It happened last night, Friday night. The newlyweds were kidnapped while on their honeymoon up north of New Zealand. They were robbed of their money. Then, they raped the wife, and forced the husband to watch every minute of it.

What the hell is wrong with people these days?

What sort of sick twisted fun do they see in doing stuff like that to other people?

It's like that recent case in Victoria, Australia. A group of teenage boys tormenting a young disabled girl, physically and verbally abusing her, burning her hair, beating her up.. and video-tapping every bit of it, after which, they upload and post the video proudly on the internet.

It's things like this which make me hate the world.
It's things like this which make me feel so sick to be part of this universe.
It's things like this which make me think about how this world is slowly dying because we're all somewhat killing ourselves and each other in our own way.

Summer vacation

2006-11-12T17:46:00.000+13:00

Life has been rather mundane and almost boring sometimes. It's not because I have nothing to do but more the fact that I just don't feel like doing anything.
In fact, I have been doing stuff, just not overly productive stuff.. so at the end of the day, it really feels like I haven't done anything at all.
I've been watching alot anime. Just finished Evangelion, the classic and almost wharped series. Today, I'd just finished reading the 1.5inch thick Fingersmith. It's got an above average plot.. so I guess you could say it's a good book. I did enjoy it.
Webcammed with T'so from 5pm to 12midnight on Friday. It was such a frigging boring day. I was bored. He was bored. So I made him webcam with me from Welly. BWAHAHAHA. Poor guy. I even (secretly) took some pictures of him.
Went to town with Shana yesterday to shop. I bought 2 pairs of socks. How pathetic, right? I think I'm running out of things to buy.. or rather, I have no money to buy anything.

Woohoo. Shana downloaded Cassie's self-titled cd and John Mayer's Continuum for me. YAY!

I'm going to have to go down to Borders and buy a book soon.

Summer is here. The weather is awesome. The beach is calling out to me. And I'm stuck at home.

OMG. I think I'm going mental.

Can't wait for tomorrow!

Monday to Friday

2006-11-09T12:13:00.000+13:00

It was about a month ago, I think.. when I found this while doing my usual web surfing. I cannot stop stressing about how much I want these 5 stupid t-shirts. I want them all so bad!! ):
I think it's an ingenious idea and I must absolutely have them.
The price makes me go crikey, of course. Not just because I can't afford them at the moment.. but also, I can't pay for them since I don't hold a credit card. And to top it off, the kiwi dollar is doing crap right now, compared to the aussie dollar.
So really, it's not worth it at all.

Images: Monday to Friday

My cutesey geeky days are over

2006-11-02T23:12:00.000+13:00

YAY! I've killed all four of my exam papers for this semester. The year's over and done with. Hurray! I'm so happy right now.. I could kiss an oak tree. I can finally stop hiding in my room and stop staring at my textbooks for the next 2 months.. Well, not until summer school, anyway. d:

David took me out to dinner after the accounting exam today. His shout. We went to Fortuna up in Skycity for all you can eat dinner buffet. The food was pretty average, just the usual stuff you can get at buffets but the service was excellent and the company was beyond great. It was a lot of fun. Thanks for dinner, David! (:

Met up with Audrey at Borders at around 9PM and then we decided to hit the uni bar, Vesbar, to say hi to her friends. But we got kicked out because there were stupid ID checks. So we walked back to her art studio and sat there chatting, while waiting for her dad to come pick us up. I hate white walls and white corridors.

Am feeling rather guilty at the moment because I do not miss Mr. Z at all, even though I haven't seen him for at least a week. I know I should but I don't. And I think he misses me. But I still do think about him alot, if that is of any consolation to you. Besides, it's not my fault. He brought it upon himself, anyway, since it was his idea to abstain during the exam period. ):

JAYSUN says:
do u miss me?

joanna says:
not really

JAYSUN says:
HMMMMMMMMMM!

joanna says:
do you?

JAYSUN says:
omg

JAYSUN says:
no comment

joanna says:
OK

joanna says:
you do!

JAYSUN says:
HOW CAN U NOT MISS ME!?

joanna says:
i dont know

JAYSUN says:
oh man

joanna says:
you're still there

joanna says:
just in spirit

JAYSUN says:
im unloved

joanna says:
not in flesh

joanna says:
WELL it was your idea anyway

joanna says:
to not meet till next week

joanna says:
you brought it upon yourself

JAYSUN says:
true

Okay, so T'so has been trying to convince me to switch mobilephone plans from my current Motormouth to Supa Prepay which gives you an additional 2000 text messages for $10 per month. I know it's real cheap but I'm not really much of a texter so I don't think that this plan is right for me. Besides, I prefer ringing people and Motormouth has one of the best ringing rates. Ugh. What do to? Stupid Vodafone. Why couldn't they just give us free texting during weekends forever and ever and ever?

Images: Gettyimages

Vain Pots

2006-10-29T19:07:00.000+13:00

Insanely jealous

2006-10-29T15:57:00.000+13:00

I've been having a whole series of freaking bizarre dreams recently. The stuff I've been dreaming about is just so crazy and weird. Especially my dreams of Jason, which aren't very often, but when they happen every now and then, they're just so horrible. Jason's not a bad boyfriend at all but for some inexplicable reason, he's just an absolute prick in my dreams.

Jason is no where near a prick or an arsehole, of course. He's been very good to me and he's been a very good boyfriend but I just don't quite understand why he morphs into this monstrous jerk in my dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm not superstitious and I definitely don't believe that my dreams are telling me something.

However, I do wonder if my dreams are a blunt depiction of how I view my relationship with Jason and how I really feel about it. Am I really so insecure as to dream such terrible things about him?

It's just that my relationship with Jason has been such that there's been hardly any friction, no bumps on the road, almost too perfect, in my opinion. And it's so scary because it just seems almost too good to be true. Sometimes, I wonder, what if something really drastic and dramatic happens one day and things explode and self-destruct? I wouldn't be able to handle it. I've had my world fall apart so many times.. I really don't want to go through it again! Please!

So I go all bitchy and pissy at him randomly, and pick fights with him and throw a tanty or cry and make him upset for no reason. It's my way of consoling myself that hey, at least there is some form of friction between us.. and that yes, we do have problems. But in reality, I'm the one with the problem.

I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm being completely pessimistic and cynical.. and quite frankly, I can't help it. It's my insecurity problem. And it's not so easy to change, ok? And I'm already trying my best to control my thoughts and feelings. But still.. I have all these stupid dreams to remind me of my apprehension and it makes me doubtful all over again.

I tell him all my dreams, of course.. every single one of them.
And most of the time, we end up laughing about them afterwards.

Something's Missing

2006-10-27T19:12:00.000+13:00

Elliot's right. This song is possibly one of the best written songs by John Mayer. The lyrics are just so deep and intellectual. I think I like John Mayer even more now.

I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.

I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart:

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And i don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends -check-
Money -check-
A well slept -check-
Opposite sex -check-
Guitar -check-
Microphone -check-
Messages waiting for me, when i come home -check-

How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means

I think this is what you call a quarter-life crisis. I say quarter-life because I'm not where near middle-age-hood. Oh heck, I'm not even 20 yet.

This is the period where you find yourself wondering about the meaning of life and your purpose in life. When you ponder about why you feel so unhappy even though you seem to have all your needs fulfilled. This is the time when you sit down and think about what is missing and why you are so desperate to try and fill your hollow heart.

That's how I feel anyway.

I think I'm still on that whole soul-searching process.

I am currently in the midst of my final exams and so far, I think I might actually achieve my target of getting at least a B+ average across all my four subjects. Although, one should never be too complacent or arrogant.. I dare say that I'm doing relatively well this semester. I think flunking that one accounting paper last semester really gave me a good old wake up call. And so, this is my present short-term purpose in life.. to achieve and graduate with the best possible grades. Also, if life permits me, I'd love to be like Keith - an excellent PhD student ~~with a large cock~~.

Happy birthday, Jason!

2006-10-25T22:36:00.000+13:00

x0x

Back to basics

2006-10-24T18:15:00.000+13:00

I'm hoping to be joining some sort of bible study group soon. I'm not really interested in varsity groups at the campus nor am I very interested in the youth groups at church. I want something a little more serious and something that will shake me and make me smile again.

I think I've come to a point in my life where things are pretty much falling apart again. Not externally but within myself. I think that if I want to continue to live, I'll have to make some drastic changes. Every time I hit a crisis, I find myself running back to God. It's always made me feel better because those problems were always external and always beyond my control.

But this time.. it's different. This time, the crisis is within me and within my control. Perhaps, it's time to emerge from my hermit crab shell and stop running away from my problems.

What is love?

2006-10-23T23:42:00.001+13:00

These days, there are so many interpretations of love. There are so many ways to express love. There are so many different definitions and descriptions of what love is, what is feels like and how to love.

I disagree with most of them, of course.

For starters, I don't believe in falling in love. I don't believe in falling out of love. I also do not believe in love at first sight.

When it comes to matters of the heart, I am probably about one the most unromantic and cynical people you'll ever meet. (:

But that doesn't mean I don't believe in love. I do believe that there is such a thing as love. I believe it exists very much so in this world. I also believe that there are people out there who truly love other people.

My idea of love is probably considered rather conventional and almost wharped, compared to 21st century standards and modern theories and beliefs.

I agree that love is unconditional. I agree that it can grow as time goes on. However, I also believe that love is a choice. Love does not come naturally.

All that stuff I said before about falling in love, falling out of love and love at first sight is not really love, in my opinion.. but more of romance and possibly lust/attraction. You cannot love a person you meet the first time because you do not know them for who they are by what they look like or appear to be like. You cannot love a person one day and decide not to love that same person another day.

You can, however, choose to love a person unconditionally. Even if the person does not love you back. Even if the person has done many many things or said many many things that hurt you like crazy. You can still love that person because you want to.
You can, also, grow to love a person. As time goes on, as you build a relationship with that very person, you can slowly and steadily grow to love him/her more and more each day.

It's innate in us to be able to love, yes. But love doesn't come naturally. Not in my opinion, anyway. Because if that was the case, then it would be an absolute paradox. We choose to love.

You can love a person you do not like.
You can love a person you like very much.

It's sort of like living life, in a sense, you choose to open your eyes every morning when you know it's time to wake up. You choose to be alive and you choose to live. It's the same principle with love, I reckon. You choose to love. Even if it may suck at times, you do it anyway because you want to.

Images: Gettyimages

Trojan horses

2006-10-23T01:09:00.000+13:00

I got attacked by one tonight.. for the most stupid reasons, of course. And the worse bit is that it sort of infected the rest of the people on my MSN list too. I have alot of people on my MSN list so I'm assuming the damage caused to be quite significiant. I feel so rotten about it. Sometimes, it's not good having people like me on your MSN list.

It was super damn annoying too. But it's all fixed now. Thanks to Randy Smyth, who still helped me, despite the fact that I haven't spoken to him for a year. Also to Jason, who rushed over straight away to fix the rest of the problem.

Images: Google

Ancient Roman History

2006-10-20T18:01:00.001+13:00

If a slave escaped, he had to live the life of an outlaw, with organized bands of slave hunters on his track. A fugitive slave was a criminal, for he had stolen himself.

Bus rides

2006-10-20T17:22:00.000+13:00

Today was officially the last day of lectures, which sort of signifies the last day of uni for the year, excluding the upcoming exams. It's amazing how time flies so very quickly. Very soon, I will no longer be a first year uni-student. Soon, I'll have to graduate, enter the much dreaded workforce and face the harsh realities of life. Not so soon, I'll be old and weak, with wrinkly skin, saggy boobs, white hair and cellulite on my thighs.

To make matters more depressing, I had the most unpleasant bus ride today. Not only, was the bus driver a bit of a jerk - speeeeeeding and breaaaaaaking throughout the entire journey from the city center to the Northshore - but also, the passengers were definitely one of the most inconsiderate bunch of people I've ever encountered during a bus ride. I was sitting at the back of the bus, up the small flight of stairs. It was when we were on the highway that I noticed a lady standing on the bus. There were empty seats around me so I was a bit surprised to find another passenger standing in the bus. I pointed it out to Jason and he said that she had a pram. I couldn't see the pram, of course, since I'm quite short. Anyway, I wondered why none of the people around her offered to let her have their seat! Especially the person sitting next to the pram. It just really pissed me off. How can anyone sitting in the front feel okay about a lady having to stand on the bus with a pram? What the hell is wrong with people these days? If I could have given up my seat, I would have. But it was pointless because I was sitting at the back of the bus and there was no way she was going to be able to maneuver the pram up the stairs and through the small aisle to my seat. I honestly wanted to slap every single one of the young folks sitting in the front. I also wanted to slap the driver for driving like a madman.

It's plain basic courtesy, in my opinion, and unfortunately, no one on the bus had much of that today.

I think the world is deteriorating.

One day, we're going to end up as dead as the ancient roman empire.

Images: Gettyimages

Question

2006-10-17T19:41:00.000+13:00

When one gets increasingly unhappy, what should one do?

Foxtrot

2006-10-12T00:02:00.000+13:00

Click the image below to enlarge and zoom in.
No, I'm not talking abt the dance. I'm talking about the comic strip. I've been reading quite a bit of foxtrot lately. It's so funny, in my opinion. But of course, hardly anyone I know shares my sense of humour! ):

Images: Foxtrot

Crazy Creepy

2006-10-11T00:59:00.000+13:00

I think I'm going a bit crazy. I've been listening to nothing but Jack Johnson's "In Between Dreams" for the last two weeks.. over and over and over again. I love it so much that I've become addicted to his voice. It's almost creepy, isn't it? Well, thankfully, I don't dream about him.
I'm so shagged, I'm practically dozing off right this moment. But I can't go to bed yet because I'm waiting for my hair to dry. Ugh.
I didn't get home till about after 11pm this evening. I don't usually go towning this late, especially, in the middle of the week but I had a special reason today.
I'm feeling quite happy with myself this week. I've fixed all my social problems and most of my schoolwork problems. I've also managed to come up with a solution to my job problem.. so I'm really quite satisfied with life at the moment.
I was blog-surfing around the other day, and I found something rather interesting. A french artist, Miss Van, and her Galerie Magda Danysz. Her artwork has been described as mysterious, thought-provoking, equivocal and erotic. There's also alot of Japanese influence in her artwork. Most of her pieces are centered around femininity, the imagery of physical and emotional aspects of women, girls and other females. They are somewhat provocative and sensual and also very very bizzare.
In my opinion, the art's a bit crazy and creepy all at the same time. You can't help but get stucked into the whole entire image itself. I find myself thinking about it and wondering about it.. trying to figure it out, trying to understand it, trying to make some sense of it. It's weird but perhaps, that's exactly how it's meant to be? I suppose the only people that will be able to empathize with me are the men and boys. How often have you found yourself staring at your woman, trying to understand her, trying to figure her out? How often have you found yourself thinking and wondering about her? How often have you found yourself completely clueless after all the thinking? Well, that's exactly how I feel when I look through Miss Van's gallery.

Oh, I just love the colour. (:

Images: Galerie Magda Danysz ; Blackjettas

Belle

2006-10-11T00:53:00.000+13:00

Oi Lienda
Bella che fa?
Bonita, bonita que tal?
But belle
Je ne comprends pas français
So you'll have to speak to me
Some other way

Weight loss

2006-10-08T21:49:00.000+13:00

Lately, I've noticed that a lot of people out there are super conscious about their weight. The desire to lose those extra pounds or work off the extra few inches of fat is very very strong. People frequent the gyms, try every possible diet out there and do crazy exercises just so they can obtain the ultimate and optimum body of their choice.
But the truth is, most people out there don't really look all that bad. So you may be a little overweight or just seem a bit bigger than the person next to you.. but so what?

People these days are becoming more and more extreme. You have the totally obese folks who look like massive blops of fat. Then you have the crazy chopsticks who are either anorexic or bulimic or both. You also have the moderately extreme cases.. for instance, girls who are a tad overweight, wearing tight fitting clothes that show off their midrifts or rather, "flabby floats". I mean, you can see it both ways really - they are either super blind or super confident.

I blame it on the media, of course.. and also this crazy superficial culture that all of us modern day homo sapiens have adopted. We see a fat person and scorn. We approve of someone with a lean and sexy body. We mock obese people and shake our heads at the anorexic. We roll our eyes at fat girls in tight clothes but drool over skinny girls with miniskirts. It's almost as though it's an unspoken rule: "Being thin is the way to go. Being thin is attractive." But then, when things get too extreme such as in the case of anorexic and bulimic kids, we turn the tables and tell them that being chubby is okay and really, the most important thing is being healthy and fit.. "Size doesn't matter at all."

Whatever la.

I find this all kind of sad. We're confusing ourselves by setting these crazy standards. I dare say that even I've been affected by this whole weight issue. People look at me and tell me I'm too thin.. so they want me to put on some weight. But if I were fat, wouldn't they want me to lose some weight? So what do they want really? Quite frankly, I'm quite happy with the way I am right now. I don't believe I'm too thin.. and neither do I think I'm fat. As long as I'm healthy and fit.. I should be fine.

Yeah right.

Images: My Fashion Life ; Jean Paul Gaultier

Working jobs

2006-10-07T15:42:00.000+13:00

In the last 12 months, I've had 2 wonderful job offers.

The first one was a retail assistant at giftshop. I worked there for about 6 months or so, wrapping presents, managing the till and serving customers. It was an easy Saturday 9-5 job. The pay was less than average but I enjoyed it because I had a really cool workmate and I loved wrapping presents. Gift shops are full of pretty and colourful things so it was fun because I, too, like pretty and colourful things.

Today, I got another job offer as an assistant flourist. I'm really keen to accept it because I love flowers and I've always wanted to work in a flower shop. Flowers are pretty and colourful things and they always make me smile. This job will probably be a lot easier and more fun than my first job. The pay is still less than average but I'd love to pick up the skill and have the experience. The hours are Saturday 9-3, which isn't bad at all. Plus, I don't have to travel as far as I used to. I'm really tempted to accept it but I'm not sure if I should because there's a bit of an issue with ethics..

ARGH.

I know I'm very blessed to have had such nice job offers in a span of less than 12 months and I'm also thankful that I've been spared the agony of job-hunting and writing CVs.

But I can't help feeling a little depressed at the thought of having to deal with ethics all the time.

I guess I haven't really had it all that easy.

Singapore Culture

2006-10-03T21:28:00.000+13:00

I received this damn funny email from my Mom about some event that took place in the old parliament house in Singapore. It's a short video by talkingcock.com with Hossan Leong singing about Singapore. The jokes may seem a bit crude and politicially incorrect but they're so blatantly honest, you can't help but laugh along.
I think it's good that despite the fact that Singapore's faced some pretty harsh criticisms from people all over the world, yet Singaporeans are still able to laugh at themselves for some of the crazy stuff that has happened in the past.

Well, we all need a little humour in life.

Economic models

2006-09-26T00:13:00.000+12:00

Adapted from HSL.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other, then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block
the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you
have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy….

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder.
He sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk back to the listed company, and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Bimbotic bitchings

2006-09-25T20:44:00.000+12:00

I spent half the afternoon trying to paint my toe nails. Don't ask me why I suddenly felt like painting my toe nails. I don't know. I just felt like it. Anyway, so I was happily trimming, filing and buffing them.. before I actually started painting them. First, giving a base coat and then I painted it a deep dark chocolate brown colour. Toe nails are supposed to be easier to paint because they're smaller. But big toe nails are somehow a massive challenge. Sometimes I get it right the first time.. sometimes I have to redo them a couple of times before I'm satisfied. Today, however, was one of my bad-nail-painting-days. I was painting my right toe nail and for some unspeakable reason, I kept screwing it up. I'll paint it the first time and find that the coat is uneven, so I have to wipe it all off again and start from scratch. Then, the second time, I'll find that there's a speck of dust stuck on the surface of the nail. So I'll try and use my finger nail to sratch it out before it dries up, only to find that in the process of scratching that speck of dust, I've ruined the paint along with it. Third time, my hand accidentally brushed against that toe nail, wipping a whole chunk of paint off.. all because I forgot it was still drying. How stupid! Anyway, I got so pissed off I decided to give up and let it be. I really can't be bothered painting that big toe anymore. I'll just have to make do with 9 painted nails and 1 miserable lonely plain toe nail.

Oh, why do I even bother?

For the sake of vanity.

What is the consequence?

I've turned into the dumbest bimbo ever.

Yuck.

Along Queen's St

2006-09-19T23:41:00.000+12:00

I was just shopping with Amanda today, along Queen's St this afternoon, during lunchtime, when this lady approached us both on sponsoring a child in some third-world undeveloped country. She wasn't keen to talk to me, of course, since I wasn't of the right age, but she tried to convince Amanda to donate $1 a day to help these poor and unforunate children all around the world. She explained that all the money was for a good cause and that it would help these children greatly.

I interupted her and asked, "You mean all 100% of your donations will go towards these children?" She stared at me and replied, "No, 90%. No one gives 100% these days."

I assume she's refering to charity organizations in general when she said "no one"?

I don't mean to sound heartless but I honestly think that some these charity organizations out there are nothing but hypocrites.. and possibly fraudulent. If one is truly for helping the poor and less fortunate, why would you even take 10% of the donations and keep it for yourself? Charity should be voluntary. In my opinon, it seems as though these organizations are taking advantage of these poor people and trying to make a business out of it. How can you feel good about helping someone when you have part of the donations sitting in your pocket? People donate with the intention to help others, not pay people to help others.. right? Doesn't that just defeat the whole purpose of charity in the first place? They say that a dollar goes a long way.. So if I give $10 a week, and the charity organization takes 10% (which means $1), isn't that robbing the poor of $1 towards a better life?

I'd feel better about donating my money to some of these organizations when I know that all the money I've given to the poor is being used for the sole benefit of the poor. I don't like the idea that part of my money is going into paying the salary of some CEO of whatever charity organization. If all these CEOs and managers are so keen to help, and at the same, feed themselves, then why not get a separate 40hr-week job and help the poor for free in their spare time? Wouldn't that make it more justifiable then?

I'd think that that is what real charity is.

Give because you can, because you want to and please, do it whole-heartedly.

Otherwise, it's not really giving at all, is it?

Image: Google